THE GIMP FROM PULP FICTION APPLIES FOR DALKEY ARCHIVE INTERNSHIP
John O’ Brien
Dear Mr. O’Brien,
I recently came upon your notice for unpaid interns and I believe my experience and skills are an excellent match for your requirements.
For the last several years, I have been employed as a gimp in a box in the basement of Zed's Pawn Shop in Canoga Park, Los Angeles. I am tethered. I sleep in a four by two foot storage locker. In all my years in this position (and I do hope you’ll excuse my vagueness on details, which is a necessary condition of my current employment) I have never once been late for work. Nor have I left early. I have worked literally every weekend and evening since the very first night of my enslavement. My goals, while admittedly modest, have each been achieved, each and every day: I have remained silent, obedient, imprisoned.
While some may argue that the particulars of my work uniform and the very complete nature of my containment contributed to these next achievements, I am quite proud to report that I have never, once, in my entire time at Zed’s Pawn Shop, taken personal phone calls during work hours, gossiped, misused company property, submitted poorly written materials, created an atmosphere of complaint or argument, or failed to respond to emails in a timely way.